Bridges Apart

I went to the pub the other night. It was empty. Well, actually it was a Tuesday. And that of course was the problem. We just don’t have enough people around to drink every night of the week anymore.

But then I got to thinking about what it would be like if our little town was a big city – plenty of people to fill pubs and streets in those, but would it be as nice?

Well, probably not and here’s why. Most people would agree that over population is the biggest crisis facing the planet at the moment but living in Pontypridd you’d hardly notice would you? But just for a moment let’s compare our town to the seventh largest city in India – Calcutta.

We have a famous old bridge of course – called the Old Bridge. Not sure if it was called the ‘old’ bridge when William Edwards built it in 1758 but I digress. Well, the inhabitants of Calcutta also have a bridge which they are very fond of too. Unlike our stone version though, we built theirs in 1937 out of steel. So what you say?

Well, while we just marvel at the beauty of the River Taff from the top of our little landmark and watch the world go by the locals of Calcutta are trying to work out how to stop their lovely old bridge falling down because pedestrians use it as a giant spittoon.

Yep! It seems that spit is corroding the base of the mighty bridge. The problem of course is not really spit but over population. While we have a grand total of 6 people a day using our lovely river crossing in Calcutta there are 500,000 pedestrians and the same number of vehicles using it every day.

So I ask you, what would happen if we had more people? Let’s say the same number out for a beer on a Saturday night (or a Tuesday even) as in India. Would our gorgeous bridge be able to withstand 500,000 chip cartons, a swimming pool of corrosive curry sauce, a lorry full of vomit, unknown quantities of other bodily fluids and the odd gob from disgruntled tourists?

Nah, it’d never survive, so be glad you live in lovely deserted Ponty, oh yes, and visit a pub on a Tuesday please. I’m getting fed up talking to myself.